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Let me tell you something about how I ended 2008, and how 2009 greeted me this morning.

First of all, I’ve been working a lot lately, and working at a gas station is way more exhausting than you’d think. Ten hour days, filling gas for old ladies, keeping the store clean – all while trying to be nice to angry idiots. So on New Year’s Eve I was so friggin tired I fell asleep at 2330. Way to celebrate the ending of 2008.

Anywho, it’s 2009 now. A new year. A fresh start. And how fresh it was!  Opening the station at 11, woke up at 0930 so had plenty of time. Crashed at Trine’s place last night, so only a 5 minute drive to work. Splendid! When the clock hit 1040 I bid my farewell and went to the car. This is when things started going downhill. For starters – it’s freeeezing in bloody, good old Norway now adays. My car was covered in a layer of solid ice. Outside _and_ inside. I went loco on the thing and removed all the external ice, sacrificing a finger or two in the process. Leaving the inside ice to the car’s heating system. Oh, and just so you know – the car is a 1987 Ford Sierra that really hates winter.

Elated I entered the car, knowing that I once again had conquered Mother Earth. “Your puny attempts are nothing but a tiny annoyance to me”, I thought to myself. Laughing maniacally. Bwahahaha. Ten minutes till work. Loads of time.  I drove away, the car answering to my every command. Everything was going like planned. 2009 was going to be awesome!

Karma’s a bitch. And Karma has teamed up with Mother Earth. No one told me. The road was glazed but I was holding on. The car behaved nicely and I was positive! However, Mother Earth had a couple of tricks up her sleeves. The sun. Out of nowhere the sun showed up. The brightest sun I’ve ever seen. The lowest sun I’ve ever seen. The biggest sun I’ve ever seen. Normally, the sun’s a good thing. But not today. The sun was evil. The sun was on a mission. The sun wanted to screw with me. The sun did. I couldn’t see shit. With the icy inside of my car, the slippery road and that sun from hell, I had no other choice than to drive slow. Extremely slow. Fair enough. I didn’t want 2009 to be the year I turned in to a murderer.

Driving slow. In cold weather. With my car? Not a good idea.  I was starting to get worried. The car was starting to ‘cough’, sending chills down my spine.  I knew that if I just kept a  steady RPM things would be fine. Then, out of nowhere, an old guy appears. In the middle of the road. Oh fuck. I could see the silhouette of his crippled old body as it strode before me. The backlight of the sun making him look like an angel. I stopped the car, looking at this old angel – smiling and cursing. He sure took his time. He was in no hurry. He nodded his head thanking me for stopping. After crossing the road he stopped on the sidewalk and stared at me as to say “It’s ok. You can drive away now. Good luck.” I gracefully commanded the car with my feet. Nice and steady. Gas pedal in. Clutch out.  “Fuck you!” I could hear her laughter. Mother Earth had won.  I sank my head in defeat. Tried, with no faith in success, to restart the car. Nothing. There I was standing in the middle of an intersection in the middle of Fredrikstad. (The one by McDonald’s) Crying. (added for dramatic effect)

*Knockknock* It was the old guy. I opened the door. “Happy new year!” he said, ironically. Gave me a wide smile and continued “Let’s move this wreck out of the road.”  We pushed it out of the road, I thanked him as he once again wished me a “happy new year, and good luck getting it to start.”  He disappeared around the corner. I was left all alone. Tried to start it a couple of more times. Nothing. “I should’ve been to work now.”

Called my dad, he was on his way. From Saltnes. About 10-15 minutes away from Fredrikstad. Great. Ten minutes of trying to get it to start the Ford finally gave in. Vroom Vroom. I pulled away whilst calling my dad. He was right behind me. Oh well. 15 Minutes late I arrived at work.

2009. What a great year this will be. I’m also not crazy. Happy New Year everyone! : )

Tags: 2009, car, ford, new, year

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 1st, 2009 at 2:19 pm and is filed under Angry Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.