Do you think animals fear ‘the human flu’? Or politics as we call it. (OooOooO, satire!)

Today started out the way most work days do; my alarm clock going off at 05:15 am. I manage to stumble out of bed and find my phone ringing on the sofa. I sit down as I try to turn it off. Bad move. “I got you now” was the last thing I heard before drifting back into sleep and the insult fighting of Monkey Island.

You fight like a dairy farmer!

I’ve spoken with apes more polite than you!

*snap*

Reality kicks in. It’s now 05:50 and only ten minutes until I have to open the doors at work. I live twenty minutes away. I throw on my sexy red and blue Exxon Mobile outfit and run to the car. As luck would have it, heavy fog reduced my visibility to mere feet in front of the car and made any attempts at speeding incredibly dangerous. I couldn’t see shit.

At 06:15-ish I arrive at work and lo and behold, what do I see? There are people here! “Are you opening at 06:30 now, or what?” they sarcastically remark. I hide my profanities behind a tired smile.

For the next two hours there’s a steady flow of people coming. Turns out I wasn’t the only tired employee this early summer morning. The girl who was supposed to open that other Esso station in the area was also sleeping. Forcing everyone to come to me. And yes, fear not, they all commented on it. In that ever-so-loving sarcastic tone with a hint of idiocy and hatefulness.

As it’s finally starting to slow down a bit, I reckon the only thing keeping me from going bat-shit-insane on people today is knowing that I have Trine and Monkey Island waiting at home. And the weekend off.