Comic Relief!

I downloaded the Mirror’s Edge demo the other day, and wow. Just wow. It was insanely good fun. Easily one of the best game’s this year - saying a lot considering this is the fall of GoW2, Fallout 3, Fable 2, Dead Space and others. Extremely satisfying with a game that encourages you to stay away from shooting. Encouraging you to run. Parkour style. In a beautifully crafted city. I can’t wait for the game to launch. You are Faith, a chick with a running spirit - my good friend Bjørn asks which Faith you prefer - “The Official Western Asian One” or “The Fan Made Asian One”. I stand by my initial comment. The face of the fan made one, the body of the official.

Står vi én for alle, og alle for én.

But when he starts to wank his guitar, and his “eccentric” tune enters your ears and fills up your mind with pure hatred - that’s when you can sense his music trying to dig up Hendrix just so he can kill him again.“Dji-djji-djii-djiii-djuuuuuh - weeoooooooooop wjyyooooooop!”

How do you manage to sleep at night, Tom?
Do you lie awake at nights plotting how to find new, annoying ways to play your guitar? Do you scream out these incoherent ramblings of so-called music when you’re taking a shower?

Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.

I wouldn’t take a Tom even if you dressed him up in a penguin suit and told him to do the macarena.
If I were you Rage Against the Machine, I’d say: “Give me a _guitar player_ - one who tenderly toys with the strings, who always attend band practice and from time to time also sings.”

You’re a Nightwatchman, Tom.
There’s nothing wrong with Nightwatchmen. It’s what you know. When you play that acoustic guitar you’re spreading the love of both Hendrix and Clapton. But when you’re raping that Mongrel Custom “Arm the Homeless” like there was no tomorrow - you’re stealing candy from kids all over the world, you’re burning down orphanages the day before christmas. You’ve gone too far, Tom.

Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.
I wouldn’t take a Tom even if you threw him after me with make-up on and told me it was Scarlett Johansson.
If I were you Audioslave I’d say “Give me more of the Nightwatchman, who plays the music of angels and doesn’t have an urge to wank 24/7. Who’ll never turn. Never bend. Who’s with you now, until the end.”

Thank you.

Norwegian readers should know who my inspiration was for this.
I’m just bitter.

Also, want to buy C knowledge!

Silent Hill: Homecoming
More Survival Horror! I never really played the previous Silent Hill games, but after all the FPS madness of the later years I’ve grown to love more story oriented games. They’ve made the camera player controlled this time around and hopefully it’ll play great.

Fable 2
After loving the original Fable I really have no choice but to buy this game. It’s more of the same, including co-op, a trusted dog companion and a much greater Character Morphing aspect. I’ve big hopes for this one.

Fallout 3
Post-Apocalyptic Role-Playing Action. The infamous PARPA genre. Bethesda did great things with Oblivion, hopefully they will expand on that. Add the Fallout universe and you got one hell of a recipe.

Mirror’s Edge
What I loved most about Assassin’s Creed was the opportunity to roam. Run around doing crazy stuff parkour style. Mirror’s Edge is all about parkour, free running and an beautiful city. I have Faith!

Gears of War 2
The sequel to one of the best Third-person Shooters ever made. This bomb of male testosterone will definitely keep the neighbours awake most of november, as the game is released the 7th. Gearing up to kick Locust Ass!

Honorable Mentions: Football Manager 2009(PC), World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King(PC - once a junkie, always a junkie), Prince of Persia(360), Left 4 Dead(360), Saint’s Row 2(360)

Oh yeah, and if Sony releases a Little Big Planet PS3 bundle in Europe I’m (finally) getting one. The game looks truly awesome.

Madagascar
Animated Animal Madness. Marty, a zebra in a New York Zoo, yearns for the Wild. Cue his best friend Alex the lion, Ross Geller the giraffe and a very big hippo! I’m a sucker for anything animated, if someone animated Days of Our Lives I’d watch every episode. The same goes for Madagascar - if you love animated stuff watch it. If not - stay clear. It’s not very good. It has its moments of comedy gold, but overall it’s nothing more than “ok”. A sequel is in the making, and hopefully we’ll see more of The Penguins, by far the funniest animals of Madagascar. In fact, the extra stuff, featuring the penguins, on the dvd is better than the movie itself. 6/10

The Mist
“Stephen King’s The Mist” Oh, Stephen King. I haven’t read a single word you’ve ever written, but you’re supposedly an awesome author. Based on all those movie adaptions of your books I’d say “Meh”. However, after watching The Mist, I’m convinced! This was better than I’d thought. Also, Marcia Gay Harden did a great job as the Religious Wacko. I seriously wanted her to die, and when she was shot I was fucking thrilled. I’ve never been so glad to watch someone die in a movie before. It was awesome. At times, the movie was awesome as well. However, there are too many unanswered questions and the ending is horrid at best, but it did restore my faith in old people. (Watch it and you’ll understand) 7/10

Cloverfield
From Lost creator JJ Abrams comes Cloverfield. A Sci-Fi action thriller set in New York. Cloverfield continues the trend of the Blair Witch Project with its “handy-cam” filming. Through the entire movie we follow the recordings of Hud as he and a couple of friends fights for their survival through the chaos of a New York under attack. Something big landed in New York and it was pissed. As with The Mist, lots of questions remain unanswered, but the dish we’re served is excellent. The cgi was amazing and the camera style worked out really well. Atleast for me. Lots of people are however saying they feel nauseous after watching it, that’s understandable as it is pretty hectic at times. I’m very glad I didn’t see this at the silver screen, that might’ve been a little too much. Loved every second of it though. 8/10

That’s that. Sorry for the lousy norwenglish, and for the horrible title. I should’ve gone to bed three hours ago. Here - accept my humble offering of Penguin Waffles and all shall be forgiven!

Four assignements to be handed in next week. Woop-de-do-happyjoyjoy. Eirik? It’s Friday.

“But why, pray tell?” say you. Well, because I wanted to. It is supposed to be a list off all the movies I’ve seen. It will never be completed though, mainly because I’ve watched a lot of movies I don’t remember. However, as of today, I will add movies to the list with my imdb rating and a potential “review”. (Depending on wether I post something about it here or not)

And please, as the disclaimer says; If there are scores you DISAGREE immensely with (either too high or too low scores) please leave a comment using profanity, calling me names and urging me to watch the movie again.

Some of those scores are embarrassing. : (

Welcome to THE ORIGINAL FRIDAY POST - The highest ranking and most read posts here at this much fine site “Thomasaj.com”. As you probably gathered, I’m Eirik Xerox Jensen, and I’m here to guestpost and to raise the bar a couple of notches (no offence, Thomas!! No regular fence either!! HEHEHE! (actually, I’m all out of fences :(( ))

So. My day. I woke up at five fifteen today, to venture to the great Bergen. I did some training (did you see what I did there?) some flying, and some bussing. I’ve actually tested the three biggest kinds of collective transport… in one day. How about them cookies? Or them transporties. Actually, that only leaves out one element. The water. Next time, I’ll have to include some boating in my schedule.

The reason for my mission? I picked up my new car, of course. I arrived in Bergen at eight am. It was raining like a motherlickcocksuckah — and no, I won’t pull a standard raining joke. I hate raining jokes. Especially when it’s raining… MEN!

:D:D:D:D:D

Did you see what I did there?

Anyways. My trip went on to meat (DID YOU SEE… .. . ffdfs) the seller, and then we ventured to the great Biltilsynet. It took about ~2 hours before the car was registred and paid in my name etc, and about 12′o’clock I started the long journey home to Oslo. It took about 8 hours, but was a delight in my car.

Oh? Which car, you ask? Well of course, it’s a Bavarian Motor (not Mother :D:D) Works.  And it’s great! It’s chooey, it’s hooey, it’s black, and I’m pretty sure my kebab-skills just increased by 30%. It’s like picking up The Great Katana of Kebabing, which gives you a couple of pluses here and there, and maybe a couple of defenses against a roll.. or something? I actually “convoyed” on the E6 with 3 other Bavarian Mother Works, and in two of the other cars there were typical BMW drivers. I’ll let you figure that one out.

Also, a pretty funny incident, when I was parked at “Voss” — to get myself a meal and a fm-sender (which really sucked twins (testicles)) — 4 New Norwegians had gathered by my car, and they were pointing and talking. And they nodded to me, and I nodded to them, as I took my seat and drove out of there. As fast as I could. A pretty great trip, all in all. I had my eyes on the road for all the time, so I didn’t get to see any of that great nature, but it was cool anyways.

Holy shit, this is one long Friday Post. I’ma leave it at this.

See you next friday!

Greets

Eirik Xerox Jensen — Guest Ranter 2008.